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Since a lot of people on this campus seem to lack a sense of humor, I want to clarify that this is a joke, and nothing in this video is meant to be taken seriously.
Lyrics:
Will:
Pipe Dream, we know of your scheme
To tackle and strangle the American dream
This really ain't a joke guys, we'll cook you with some home fries
If journalism was a race you'd really need some exercise
Tommy:
Hey there Pipe Dream, how's it going, it's me
Your friendly neighborhood Bing Review EIC
I'm just here spitting these bars to let you know
Your paper's on par with my awful rap flow
I can't believe people even read this shit
Who cares about delayed science equipment?
Or pollination boxes installed for bees?
Could you possibly come up with more boring stories?
You may have shiny shelves, BU's support, and a big office
But the trade-off is bureaucracy, contracts, and bosses
Here at the Review we value freedom, and fun
It's clear which option's better, so take your losses
I'm just being honest, your paper's a joke
If it was for-profit then you'd certainly go broke
You make it clear that Bing lacks a journalism degree
You wanna be reporters? Now that's a "pipe dream"
Jon:
This may seem mean, but we're tryna be keen
And maybe turn your face green with this beat so clean
So go ahead, please, try to intervene
These bars will turn your pipe dream into a fucking crime scene
We're rallying the masses, no violence incited
You couldn't get Bill Clinton on Viagra excited
Our paper's always gone, the people seem to need it
Your stacks are always full because nobody fucking reads it
(All: Bing Review!) It don't matter if we're news
Serious, satire, we're telling the truth
(All: It's true!) We let free speech rule
Now tell me who's the best publication at the school?
National awards, public recognition
You're so boring it's repulsive as our Valentine's edition
Your stories so flat, ours got curves
Knock knock, you're getting what you fucking deserve
We're done being cordial, we're dropping the reserve
And leveling your paper like the nature preserve
Beat produced by LexNour:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77m2wqzz2Xc
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